A PROMISE

A promise . It's magical isn't it ? I find it funny how I still believe in promises . It just feels good to keep a promise . It makes you feel like a better person . I've never broke my promises before because that would just make me feel really bad . When someone believes in your promises , that means they trust you . Breaking your promises is equal to breaking someone's trust towards you . It is your choice , whether to believe in promises or not . But I , I choose to believe in them . Sometimes I do feel stupid for believing in them , because it would just lead to a big disappointment . But I trust people easily . Maybe that's what my problem is . I shouldn't trust people easily . That's probably the reason why I get disappointed easily too . For me , a promise is the most important thing you should keep . Be a person who can keep your promises so that you can be THAT person who people can trust . Are you the type of person that believes in promises ? It's sad how a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore . Nowadays , people just promise you to make you feel better at that time , at that moment . Yes ofcourse it made you feel better at that time , but what they don't know is how important the promise is to you and how that promise was the reason you're holding on . Nowadays , a promise is just a joke to a lot of people and that's just sad . To whoever's reading this , never joke around about a promise . If you want people to trust you , then keep your promise . No matter how small it is . Because that my dear , will define YOU as a person . Whether if you can be trusted , or not .

Stop Beating Yourself Up

This is just one of those days where I feel like blogging . There has been so much going on in my life . I live , I love , I laugh . It's funny how sometimes I try to make people feel okay , when I myself ? Am a total mess . I have no idea what to do with my life . That's just one of the saddest things in life to be going through . A few weeks ago , I met people . People who showed me a different part of life . They make me happy . Everytime I hangout with them , I feel safe . I don't know why . Life is hard at times when you have to decide whether you'd do bad or good . You have to choose . Either way , it's YOUR life . You're the one who's gonna face the consequences by the end of the day . It's amazing how I've changed in this past few years . I've finally learned to let go of the past COMPLETELY . Letting go is one of the best things you could do that could lead you to a healthy life . I know how most of you would think that when I say "letting go" I was referring to my ex . But no , you need to see everything in a whole different perspective . Letting go can mean that you're letting go of a bad habit . Ex: Procrastinating . Drinking . Smoking . It can also mean letting go of your sadness or the people causing the sadness . Lost someone this year over a disease ? Make a campaign . A cancer awareness campaign maybe ? I don't know . Just go and get motivated sweetie . Be productive . Are you still crying late at night because of that stupid jerk that played you ? STOP . Be wise , you're beautiful . There are millions of guys out there waiting for you . Someone somewhere out there is waiting for you . There are hundreds and thousands of countries that you haven't even been to . Paris , Milan , Turkey , Seoul , Italy , Germany , Australia , New York , London , Canada , Auckland , New Zealand , Netherlands , Switzerland , Norway , Denmark . See what I mean ? So why are you still sitting there crying for someone from your small town who clearly doesn't even care about you ? When you CLEARLY have a lot more places to go explore . Life's too short to be stupid . Love isn't everything . Hey , I'm still single yet I'm still living aren't I ? Don't sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn't know how to appreciate you . You need to appreciate yourself first . Find who you are . The real you . Be true to yourself . Never rush into relationships that you'll regret . Be in a relationship that makes you a better person . Not the one who goes to bed crying your eyes out and not even know why you were crying on the first place . Be that person who's strong enough to stand by their own . Be mature enough to make good decisions . Be confident . Be selfish sometimes . Be the person that could be brave enough to show people that they can't hurt you without your permission . Be wise . Choose the right path . Never sink yourself in a dark path . You're better than you know . You were born for a reason . Make that reason come true .

Life's so complicated .

I'm not even sure about my own feelings . One day I wake up liking him more and more , and one day I wake up suddenly feeling numb . I'm afraid that I'll end up hurting people when I myself am not sure about my own feelings . I get jealous , I get mad , I get annoyed . But in the end looking at him still makes me smile , it hurts . But deep down inside I know that it would never work . So it's better to get hurt now then to get hurt later . I don't know what to do . Whether to let go fully or maybe just give it a little time . Only God knows what will happen . I need my freedom .

Don't you just hate . . .

Don't you just hate it when your mind keeps on remembering the things you don't want to remember ? It's hard to forget about someone you want to forget when you still remember the little things they tell you , the little things about them . Like the way they smile , the way they play with your hair , the way they hold your hands , the way they look at you . It does sound like total bullshit . You try so hard to forget . You feel stupid for remembering . Just by a single scent , a single word or even by a single song , your memory can be triggered . The only way to forget , is to remember the bad things they did to you . That way , the hatred you felt will always stay there. And it stays there forever . Just when you're about to sleep , all the memories come flashing back in your head . The tears you shed is useless . You keep reminding yourself that you shouldn't cry over such a stupid thing . So you eventually stop crying . But that doesn't make you feel any better . It just gets worse and worse . I convinced myself that things WILL get better because there's always a rainbow after a rainstorm . I believe in myself . I will get better . I don't like to tell everything to others cus I know that they don't care . I'd rather keep it to myself . It's better that way . I bet that other people get tired of my stories . I'm writing it here because I know that not everyone will read this til the very end . You'll eventually get tired reading halfway , so you stop . Yeah , I know what you feel . Don't you just hate it when you only realise you forgot to do something right when you're about to sleep ? You forgot to lock the door . Maybe . You forgot to brush your teeth . Maybe . You forgot to charge your phone . Bitch , you better charge that phone of yours . You forgot to iron your clothes . You forgot that one homework you're supposed to pass up the next morning or you'll literally die . HAH , me . always . everyday *throws confetti at your butt* You forgot to turn off the stove . Okay . You basically have 2 choices . Whether you'll wake up earlier in the morning to do everything you forgot to do , or you just go the fuck to sleep because you're so tired . You're tired cus you decided to sleep at 2am after such a long day ON THE INTERNET congratufuckinglations *throws confetti at your face* Wait the stove ? you forgot to turn it off ? That's okay . When someone screams "FIRE ! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE !" you'll probably be too tired to even wake up and save your life , whoops calm down bitch it's just a fire *goes back to sleep* yeah , well see you in hell bitch . Okay about the other choice , wake up earlier ? Pfft . Yeah right .Wake up earlier MAH ASS . You'll probably wake up later than usual . Right when you wake up and realise that you're late , you'll start swearing , just too much to feel better . Then you go to school . Well if you're lucky , the subject of the homework that you were supposed to do TWO WEEKS AGO , isn't on the first period , or the second period , so you could eventually do your homework at THAT time . Or maybe if you're luckier your teacher will be absent ! OMG WOW LOOK AT THAT YOUR TEACHER IS ABSENT ON THE DAY THAT YOU FORGOT TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK HOW FUCKING LUCKY . nope . Never gonna happen bitch . They're always present . Look who's the luckiest person on the planet ? Not you , obviously . LOL . okay . okay . okay , I'm so bored . I wanted to go to Guardian or Watsons or any type of drug store to buy my things , but HOW ! There's no car for me to use . How can this day be any worse ??? Okay then . Toodles homies .

Bad Luck .

So far , this has been the WORST year for me . Like seriously , everything has been so fucking bad . I can't even describe how bad it has been for me . The worst part is that I can't even tell my best friends about it . Even if I tell , it wouldn't make any difference anyways . So why bother telling ? I just feel like murdering the people who have made my life harder . These kind of people shouldn't even exist in this world . They're like parasites in this world , they do nothing but harm everyone around them . There are a lot of people who pisses me off . First of all , fucking corrupted people . These kind of parasites , heh . They think they have the money and power that they think they can control everyone just like their dogs . These kind of people DESERVES to rot in hell . I bet they don't even believe in hell . Some of these so called "rich Malay people" are Muslims just by their religion , just so that they can get contracts and everything (just so you know it's hard to get any contracts if you're not Malay "muslim" in Malaysia)but do you know that they eat pork ? Yeah , my sister's boyfriend told me . Even your beloved Dato' M's granddaughter eats pork . Hah . How do I know that ? I know la :b lol . My sister's bf went to the same school as her , so yeah . That's how I know . Jangan mau sanjung sangat la orang yg makan duit kita orang semua . Secondly , I hate liars . They're so good at pretending . How can someone lie straight to your face ? Danggg . You're so good honey you should get an award for that . I don't get it , how do all these people get away with all these lies for such a long time ? Well , you just need to know that no matter how good you are at lying , you're still gonna get caught eventually . What goes around comes around baby . You have no idea how much hatred I have in this heart of mine right now towards all the bullshit that has been happening to me . This year has also been the most unproductive year for me . Really unproductive . Thirdly , I hate fake people . I can always differentiate whether you're genuinely nice to me or you're just being fake . If you dont like me then dont talk me . Why are you still trying to be nice to me when you dont like me ? Fourth , I hate how people don't even TRY to see the good intentions that we're giving them . Our good intentions tend to mess us up . After things get fucked up , you'll be the one to blame . Why ? Why can't other people TRY to see that we tried our best to please them ? Why can't they just take time to appreciate the things we try to do for them . Why ? You try to wash clothes , your washing machine gets broken , you get blamed . You try to wash the dishes and accidentally broke the glasses , you get blamed . You try to decorate your sister's painting and you accidentally spill glue on it . You get blamed and scolded at the same time . You see those examples ? What else can you say ? You try and try and try . I looked back at my old posts and realised how childish I was back then . Love does make you look stupid . The things you say , the things you do . All . . . stupid . But at that time you were in love , you didn't care . You never cared what people say . But now when you look back at everything , it is stupid . The weird thing about me is that , I care too much about what other people might think . How stupid huh ? It's not easy to change into someone better , it's not easy to change your ugly attitude . But you NEED to try . As long as you try and not give up , you might just change into something better . I did a lot of things that I regret and wish to change . But I realised , I can't change the past no matter how hard I try . The past is the past . All you need to do is change . Into something better . Let the past be a lesson for you to be a better person in the future . Another type of person that I hate . Hot-tempered kind of person . Well , I do admit that I'm kind of a hot-tempered person at times(or seasons) . But I wouldn't want a hot-tempered boyfriend :o nonono . I wouldn't want that lol . Let me be the one to scold my bf . Haha . Watch out future bf . I'm kinda tired , this place is a wreck . Seriously . I'm in LD , we're gonna celebrate my dad's birthday here . But seriously , urgh . Just thank God for the wifi ! Or I just might die out of boredem . 

45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON'T ASK FOR

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING .
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Hold her hands in front of other girls c;

WE MIGHT DENY IT , BUT WE DO GET JEALOUS SOMETIMES ;
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.

45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her  while you’re sitting on her.

 ♥ ♥ ♥

Peek a boo :D

Hello , I decorated my room by sticking a lot of Tumblr pictures on my wall XD even though it may look simple and easy to do but trust me , it took me more than 7 hours to finish it ~ haha . Yes , i am kinda tired . But i enjoy doing it . I even changed my room's bulb , vacuumed it and cleaned the aircond . HAH , since when am i this hardworking ? nobody knows :)

Bubu the teddy bear XD

Tumblr collage :)

Messy part of the
 room :B

Swans made by my
sister c:

I know u cant really see it but
it says ' D r e a m ' . haha

The pictures dont really look the same with the real ones :b In real life my room looks orangey cus of the bulb~ hee :)